Monday, December 6, 2010

The Temptations of Trapper

After a very long morning at Jury Duty, I came home and decided to take Trapper to the pet store and Publix. I was going to take the boy to jury duty, but visions of "contempt" and a jail cell, made me think that might not be a good idea. Before we even got to the pet store, his nose was twitching and the whimpering began. WHAT??? My Trapper? Whining? I don't think so. "No noise..."

I park the car, and I find Mr. Fancy Britches has relocated himself to the seat while I went around to the other side. I open the door, and thankfully he waits until I tell him to get out. I figure he can go in the store without his coat, just like all of the other orderly good doggies. Pull!! Yaaank! Snniffff! Stretcccchhh! He was like that Rumba vacuum stop, start, turn, drop, sniff, suck, start, stop, etc. I grab hold with two hands and head for the store. I can do this I tell myself.

As soon as we get inside he is just quivering with excitement. Now Trapper is still intact, if you know what I mean, and I know that has a lot to do with his behavior. The scents must have been like dropping head first into Willy Wonka chocolate room or something of the sort. We weaved our way down the aisles and to the left is the aviary, otherwise knows as chicken nuggets on a branch in the doggie world. I see him take a big breath and hear a big bark coming so I quickly divert him with a "forward." Yikes he is lifting his leg! Oh my word, all I wanted to do was buy a stupid toy. We speed to the toy isle as fast as we can, grab our loot, and then the horror, we had to go in reverse through all of that temptation! I made it out, maybe with the right change, maybe a receipt, I think the toy I came for and my arms two inches longer.

We arrive at Publix and I open the car door and I hear "Excuse me mam, my name is...". I was praying Trapper wasn't going to leap out like Superman, or worse, Jaws. It was someone asking for money, and I politely told him now was NOT a good time. Danger averted.

I've learned to call in the meat orders at the deli since our deli line is always so long. And sure enough, today was no exception. Trapper knows right where to go, it's his favorite part of the store. The place is packed and he pulls, stretches, gooses someone in the crotch, sniffs someone's leg, oh good grief let me get out of here. I hear giggling as we try to maintain what little pride we still have and march away.

We head to the Benadryl aisle since poor boy got stung this weekend, of all places, in his private worlds. He has had hives and itching since then, and hopefully learned he better look before he piddles next time. Probably showered some little bee one too many times. On the way to the ice cream section he scarfs up some piece of food substance and drops it on command. By now I am sweating, and wondering if I could just leave him in the frozen section for a couple of days. Maybe they won't notice.

He settles down at the register, of course, since we are leaving, and was Mr. Manners himself. Sit, down, stand, forward, sit, no sniffing. We hop on the scale for our obligatory, make everyone smile, weigh in. He does that perfectly:) 72 pounds of lean machinery and out the door. Ring! Ring! Ring! Ringgggg! Oh no, the Bell ringer is going to town with those bells and there is no escape route. Ringaringaringggg! He hops forward to see if his bud Rudolph is around and "Agggghhhhhhh! I'm afraid of dogs!!!" I though her little kettle was going to flip right over. Meanwhile, the not so nice lady behind me is asking if she can get by. "No you can't get by until the lady in front of me moves", I said. I was thinking some other not so nice things by this time. We quickly cross the street and I am shouting the "find the car" command as quickly as I can. We find the car, load our measly one bag of groceries and head home to our humble abode!

Said all of this to say that while the boy is mostly very good, very obedient, and truly a joy to have around, he is still a puppy with a very good nose. Every shopping trip can't be boring, or I would have nothing to write about. We got his IFT letter last week, along with the rest of the litter. Looking through the list of things he should have done by the time we turn him in, we all realize yikes there are still a few things to catch up with over the holidays and we better get to work. I hope his little hive problem goes away too, as he was up itching and scratching in the night too. Maybe all of those things led his little mind astray today. Who knows? Until next time....

1 comment:

  1. Poor baby. Who could pay attention when your privates are itching? Naughty, nasty scrooges at the publix. Every now and then one of them gets in. Mostly, though, only nice people shop there. 8-)